Hollywood CA – In what has been characterized by international media as a “brilliant move on the part of the Screen Actors Guild”, the organization has started actively recruiting Freemasons and ex-freemasons alike to fill the roles left empty by aging actors.
Spokesman and SAG Recruiter Sheikh N. Gathermen was very excited by this most recent development strategy to fill their ranks. He told the press, “I can’t believe we had not thought of this before”, he said with enthusiasm, “but with the publication of ‘The Craft Unmasked!’ last year, and all that it revealed about extensive Freemasonic training, it just made perfect sense to tap into an already available and developed resource!”
Another long time SAG member, Guy Trapp, was equally excited. “The fact that so many of them are unbelievably well-trained and want more gives me hope that we can plug them into our productions with little to no effort”, he raved, “and the best part is they’ll most likely support our efforts for nothing but a low-cost meal beforehand!”
SAG Old timer Knute N. Mieday, who confessed that he has a lot of relatives in the Craft, was not so impressed by the news. He had this to say, “Yeah, I read about their training. Sure they learn to memorize a whole bunch of scripts and related choreography, they also learn how to put on a good show and they are definitely used to the drama", he smirked and continued, "but are they even aware that they're trained actors participating in role-playing?” He shrugged and added, “Most of them don’t even know they’re putting on well-scripted morality plays.”
Mr. Gathermen wasn't detoured by any detractors and was quite pleased with the recruiting drive. He was overflowing with enthusiasm as he told us about his efforts. “The best aspect about this drive is all we had to do is tell these guys that we where a 'guild'," he paused and used his fingers to quote the word while widening his eyes, "and that all they had to do is petition to join. I swear we can’t keep enough petitions on hand to keep up with demands.”
For more information about petitioning this and other guilds, please contact a Recognized Local Freemasonic Facility.
Brother John S. Nagy