Grand Lodge Burnout Response: “No” Training!

Innoway AK – In an effort to stem the tide of membership declines due to Freemasonic Burnout, also known as “Free-Burn”, the Grand Lodge of Alaska has come up with a suitably viable solution – No Training[1].

“It was a simple solution whose time has come”, said Lead Trainer Right Worshipful Brother Armin Sling  “We actually didn’t realize the great need to provide No Training for some time and only recently had enough members leave the organization due to Free-Burn to realize the need was there.  It's been our experience that situations just like these warrant action and No Training should be offered immediately.”

What exactly is “No Training” and what does offering No Training Options supposedly solve?

Brother Wok N. Circles had this to say, “The whole premise of offering this program is to make sure those who receive No Training know that they have No options to exercise when offered No Things that may conflict with No Training guidelines”, he looked at the puzzled look in the eyes of his audience’s and added, “Members who have No Training can then be able to exercise No Options especially when applicable.  No Training offers No Options to them.”

When Pressed for a more in-depth explanation, Brother Circles replied, "Listen, there's no training like No Training! and you have to experience No Training to get this.  At no time into the future is No Training not offered.  No Training is now our default standard offering. Those who do not accept our No Training option have no chance of No Success!  If you truly want No Success, then you must get No Training as soon as possible!
 
Not everyone at the press conference was happy to hear about No Training.  “We don’t need No Training” was all that could be heard from a group of Past Masters griping about the change being offered to the membership. One group member, Brother I. D. Askwasher added, “In my day, No Training didn’t exist and for No Reason too.  We didn’t dare bring it up ‘cause we knew to do so was an innovation”.  He stopped, spit some of his chew into a cup and let out a gurgling cough. “and ya’ll know how we feel about innovations”.

During a recently held press conference by the Grand Lodge it was made abundantly clear to No Member interested in No Training that they were to contact their local Lodge Secretary to make No Wishes known.

F&S,

Brother John S. Nagy

[1] "No Training", "no Training Options", "No Options" and "No Success" are registered trademarks of Grand-lodge Assistance Program (G.A.P.) USA.