Judge Permits Freemasonic Defense

Cracked Rocks AK -- In what is now considered a bold but viable legal maneuver, a thirty-three year old self-proclaimed Craft Initiate and his two brothers have made history by successfully offering a “Freemasonic Defense” plea in their court case.  Mr. J. Roughman made his earnest plea to the judge on all of their behalf during their pretrial arraignment. 

Judge Rufus A. Round, after due consideration of the gravity of the request, responded with a one word ruling , “Yep”, on whether to hear their defense plea at trial.  It was a startlingly profound but short response and all that the judge had to say to them before trial, judgment and sentencing.

As luck would have it, the three local Freemasonic spokesmen were all present that day and all in agreement with the judge's ruling.  Spokesman Brother Lett M. Havvit had this to say, “The general consensus among our local Brothers was to support these three individuals in getting what they demand.  If they want to be treated as Freemasons, then by all means they should indeed be given every opportunity and with full regard to what they desire.”

It is important to note here that both the pretrial and subsequent trial were amazingly swift.  When asked by Judge Round if they did do what they were accused of doing, each defendant responded with an unequivocal, “Yes, I did it”.  When also asked why, each claimed in their defense, “It was because I was going through a Freemasonic Initiation.” 

The judge, himself a long time Freemason and well recognized Past Master of the Craft, took all this into consideration during the trial.  In a last minute effort to determine culpability, he asked the three of them, “Do each of you admit that you went through this initiation of your own free will and accord?”

They responded in unison, “Yes!  Of course!”

The defendants appeared quite shocked by what the trial judge had to say next in response.  “Your defense plea is accepted and so are your confessions!"  He then leaned over, grabbed his gavel and said, "Guilty as charged!”, and slammed down the gavel on his bench.  Judge Round was seen to immediately hand over to each of the defendants a list of three penalties and was heard to ask them to choose which one each wanted administered as punishment.

Round said afterward that it was the most convincing legal defense he had ever heard in his 50 years on the bench. “I couldn’t believe how rock solid their argument was”, he said.  “There was legally no way to dismiss their defense either", the judge remarked. "I wish I could have but I was forced by their carefully worded plea to proceed with the trial." And it was just after he said that when Ruffus sighed, hung his head for a moment, and added in a deeply pitying tone, "Those miserable impetuous wretches had no idea what consequences they were demanding through their plea.”

All present agreed it was a brilliant display of Freemasonic justice.  The Roughmans are expected to have their sentencing acted out at low twelve tonight. 

Attendees to tonight's event are expected to show their dues cards at the door and to be tried before entering.

F&S,

Brother John S. Nagy