Thursday, December 10, 2015

Grand Lodge Backs Dollar Raise Club

Dull Glades MS – In what could only be considered by Craft Members as a valiant effort to save Craft dying Lodges, the Grand Lodge of Mississippi has announced it is now offering for a limited time a Lodge Replenishment Program called, “The Dollar Raise Club[1]”. 
Grand Lodge Spokesman, Right Worshipful Frank “Kick” Starter said he got the idea one evening while watching a twelve hour infomercial.  “It was the darnedist thing!” he said with enthusiasm. “I was watching this very long and fascinating program and only realized toward the end that it was trying to sell me a product.”  He added, “After realizing how swept away by the program I was, and by the way it was all put together, I thought we could certainly use this same technique in our Craft recruiting efforts!”

Brother Starter said the Grand Lodge initiative to replenish dying Lodges was formulated and implemented shortly afterward. 
Initially it caused some confusion within the older members.  One old timer and past Master, Worshipful Brother Wee B. Small, said, “It’s not how we did it in my day, but I guess changing times means we need to adapt.” He shrugged his shoulders and added, “Other than increasing revenues, I don’t see how this is going to rebuild Lodges though.” 

From what is revealed on the initiative's opt-in website, the program offers three tiers of commitment for all new members and even has an opt-in program for already established members. The first tier only requires an investment of one dollar a month for a Regular Disposable Membership card.  Shipping and handling is extra at this level.  The site also says that this card is good for one month and should the member need a new card for the next month, all they need to do is order it on line.  If they don’t need a new card too often, they can opt to have a new card mailed to them every other month and pay accordingly. 
Details on the other two tiers include varying degrees of attendance, voting, visitation rights, degree viewing, degree participation and elaborate titles; all available at the click of a button and additional fees.

The Grand Lodge Treasurer, Most Worshipful Ben E. Stretcher, was extremely excited about the entire initiative and reported the coffers have never been fuller.
For further information related to this and other programs, please call Brother Legg Pullum in the Grand Lodge’s Ruffian Acquisition and Termination Department.

Brother John S. Nagy

 [1] not to be confused with "The Dollar Shave Club"

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