Tuesday, March 27, 2018

A Brother Asks: Losing EAs



A Brother Asks: What do you feel contributes the most to a new candidate not continuing his Masonic journey after receiving his EA?


Coach:  Simply put, the most contributing factor is "disenchantment". 

Brother: What contributes to this disenchantment? 

Coach: Several things. Let's put aside the obvious balls being dropped by the Lodge itself* and discuss the typical things that candidates should not ever be exposed to. 


Brother: Okay.  Let's get into it.

Coach: Sure. Candidates become disenchanted and quickly lose interest when...
  1. ...what is offered is not what they originally wanted or joined for. 
  2. ...they expected totally different activities involving personal growth and not just memorizing things that are not understood, explained or well-justified by those doing the training.
  3. ...the social interactions, offerings and opportunities are not what they want to engage in.
  4. ...they are disinterested in or turned off by who is involved.
  5. ...they were needlessly embarrassed by the immaturity of too many schoolboy antics put forth under the guise of "fraternity" and "brotherhood".
  6. ...training and indoctrination is continually offered masquerading as education, mentoring and/or coaching.
  7. ...their other interests compel them to discontinue.
  8. ...abrasive personalities and biasing that reflects intolerance are ever present.
  9. ...too much organizational support stuff and no true personal development is the lodge's focus.
  10. ...they realize all too soon that those running the machine don't know that they are running a machine or that they are not truly initiating anyone.
Unless something else is keeping the interest of these disenchanted candidates, they soon pull the plug and vote with their feet.

Brother: How do you change any of this? 

Coach: Great question!  Here are a few things to consider:

  1. Before they petition, find out what they want from the organization and what they want to join for. 
  2. Make sure those members who are doing the memorization training understand it, can explain and justify it well, and can do so in such a way that it has absolute relevance to the personal and professional growth of the candidate.
  3. Before they petition, make sure that the lodge social interactions, offerings and opportunities are what they want to engage in.
  4. Before they petition, make sure they are interested in and not turned off by who is involved within the lodge.
  5. Make sure they were not needlessly embarrassed by any schoolboy antics put forth under the guise of "fraternity" and "brotherhood".
  6. Make sure training and indoctrination is not masquerading as education, mentoring and/or coaching.
  7. Before they petition, make sure they have time to allocate toward lodge activities they would be interested in.
  8. Make sure any abrasive personalities and biasing that reflects intolerance are eliminated from the lodge before they even approach the lodge to petition.
  9. Make sure they don't get pulled into too many organizational support activities and are provided support for the personal development activities pointed toward by ritual.
  10. Make sure the lodge is not so busy running the machine that they forget they have a paying customer who deserves to be treated as an authentic initiate and apprentice to the Craft.
Each and every one of these items contributes towards Candidates getting their needs met and each supports them receiving what initiates should be receiving from an organization that professes to make good men better.

F&S,

Bro. John S Nagy
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*and this does occur when the lodge either does not have a process in place to keep candidates fully engaged in their progression or the individuals in charge do not follow through on what they should be following through on should there actually be a process to follow.



Saturday, March 24, 2018

A Brother Asks: How to "Manage" a Scared Wife?



A Brother Asks*:  Coach, I come from a long line of Freemasons. I wish to take my Masonic career further and believe that my wife needs to be on board with it. Unfortunately, my now wife has withdrawn her support of my furthering my Craft involvement, due to some conspiracy web site's claims that the Craft is a "marriage wrecking ball".  Coach!  Conspiracy theories have got the better of her and her curiosity has driven her to the darkest corners of the internet, and lack of Craft support is the end result. What can I do about it?

Coach:  Have you tried talking with her about the nonsense and rubbish on the web designed to deliberately create fear?

Brother: Yes.  I've read this material and tried to talk her through it, but alas, she's under the impression that the Craft is a sinister organization that's hiding all sorts of dark secrets and practices. What's worse, despite my best efforts she won't allow me to show her the truth of the matter. She's taken a hard line position.  She refuses to attend any functions.  She refuses to speak with other masons. She's also convinced it changes people for the worse. She pointed out that one member who was raised around the same time I was had a nervous breakdown.  I tried to tell her that this was from the constant finger pointing that goes on in every conspiracy theory circle, but that only made things worse.  "It's always the masons to blame!" she said! It's got her worried sick and me backed into a corner.
 
Coach: Unfortunately, this does happen and it usually occurs when a person is fear based, misinformed and desires to enjoy the benefits brought about by all those individuals who will step in line to rescue and support that person's need to be fearful.  In other words, fear is used by individuals who want to control others who desire to fix fears that cannot be fixed by any legitimate outside source, including the people trying to help!  It's an inside out job!  It's an insane strategy though and it is employed very effectively upon unsuspecting and naïve individuals to control them and pull them into games that support further control.

Brother: If I have to choose between her and the craft of course she'll win.

Coach: Good!  As it should be.

Brother: Clearly I can't give up on my wife but I'd hate to have to turn my back on my family legacy. 

Coach: Well understood too!

Brother: She's said she's ok with me staying in the blue lodge but said it would break her heart if I went further. I wish to follow my father and his before him but I risk breaking her heart and I can't do that.   Coach!  I'm clutching at straws here but I was wondering if anyone you know has had a similar experience? If so how did you manage it? 

Coach:  (DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed counselor or a mental health professional!  Keep this in mind as you read further.) First off, you are not alone in your struggle.  You're involved in a game that played in many relationships. 

Brother: It is?

Coach: Yes. It is.  That being said, you may not want to read this. Be prepared for major bluntness... and brace yourself:

 
There are bigger problems here than the organization that you are thinking of moving up within and the troubles you face are not related to your organizational involvements.
 
How do you manage this?

Short Version: Just Stop Trying To! You can't and won't "fix" your wife. The more you try, the less that you'll have a healthy marriage. 

Long Version: You're making her problems your problems; Don't do this!  She has you in fear as a result because you believe your further involvement in Freemasonry threatens your relationship and marriage; It Doesn't! She is threatening your relationship, but she is engaged in a bait and switch with you and wants you to believe that Freemasonry is the problem; It Isn't!

Consider the following "possibilities":
  1. She is scared because she has chosen to be scared; nothing you do can change that so stop trying to fix her. 
    •  Be aware that she may be unknowingly wanting you to play the fix it game and use your disinterest to get angry with you if you don't play along.
  2. She has got a bigger problem and it's not fear; it's a control issue. 
    •  Be aware that she may be oblivious to this or deny it because it undermines her game.
  3. She has power over you by expressing this fear, knows it and it is being used to manipulate you and your relationship. 
    •  Be aware that she may not understand why she is doing all this but this does not make it any less real or controlling.
  4. She is also telling you in a very subversive and underhanded way that she DOES NOT TRUST YOU OR YOUR JUDGEMENT. If she did, she would not have this insanity polluting your relationship. 
    •  Be aware that this is foundationally the biggest issue of all, that she may have no clue that she is sending you this message of mistrust and that when confronted she will likely deny or try to minimize it.
  5. She is lying to you (and likely to herself) about her being "okay with [you] staying...". 
    • Don't buy into it, but be aware she may be incapable of seeing the truth due to her upbringing and surrounding dysfunctional support system.
You would do well to explore The Drama Triangle should you want to not get pulled into it ad nausea!
  1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle
  2. http://www.johngouletmft.com/Breaking_The_Drama_Triangle_Newest.pdf
BTW - The brother who snapped and had a nervous breakdown: That was going to occur whether he joined Freemasonry (or any other organization), or not. He was a volatile bomb with a hair trigger ready for the right conditions to go off. All the signs were there and it is a shame he made it through the West Gate. Those who guarded it did not know what they were doing.

You have some serious things to consider here, and they are not related to Freemasonry.  Your organizational involvement is merely a focal point.  I'm glad that you chose her over the Craft.  You have you priorities straight.  You also have a tremendous challenge ahead of you for the issues here are not related to Craft involvements at all. They are related to deep seated trust and control issues that would have likely showed up regardless of what organization you belonged to.

I wish you and your wife well!

F&S,

Coach John S Nagy
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(*This conversation represents a composite of many chats between myself and Brothers and clients alike.)
 
 
 
 

Saturday, March 17, 2018

A Brother's Trust is Paramount!


 
FILED UNDER: How to Erode a Brother's Trust
 
I just received four more annoying Face Book private messages just today.  They were heart tugging private messenger texts.  They were shared by "Brothers" encouraging me to pass them along.  It was obvious that they were fabricated to be passed along by the unsuspecting. 
With a little effort I discovered that not one of them was fact checked and they were all patently FALSE.
Yes.  You heard me.  Brothers did this.

Here is a stern and blatant WARNING that all Brothers should heed!  When you want anyone as your trusting Brother to continue to trust you, don't encourage them to forward or share anything that you have sent to them that you have not personally fact checked yourself.  Do this and they shall not put any faith in future sharings from you if you have been found to be a sharer of false information. Your further sharings will not to be trusted into the future or taken seriously.
Furthermore, you will eventually be blocked; especially when you show all outward signs that you don't appreciated hearing that:
  • your lack of due diligence erodes their trust
  • your bad attitude toward their pointing this out annoys you
  • your words show disrespect toward their pointing out your irresponsible behavior
  • your insistence that you didn't do any harm
  • your not offering a deserved apology for not doing your job as a Brother and making them do it for you
Here’s the truth:
  1. When you pass along things that are hoaxes, you propagate lies and you waste time and erode trust.
  2. When you don't push back and tell your Brothers in what they are involved, you contribute to the lie and waste of time.
  3. When you don't want to get blocked, on face book and in life, do your DUE DILIGENCE BEFORE you pass something along to assure that is NOT a hoax. 
  4. When you want a Brother's trust back, clean up your mess!  Own up to what you did , notify everyone you've mislead and push back upon those who mislead you and pushed such nonsense your way. 
  5. When you take your sharing Brothers to task in doing the same you help curtail mistrust.  
The only way this irresponsible behavior is going to be reduced is when Brothers push back upon those who are irresponsibly wearing their titles.

Here are a few things to think about, with Masonic allusions in tow:
  1. When your word cannot be trusted, what good is your tongue?
  2. When your heart is misplaced, who has removed it from your chest?
  3. When you're torn between owning up to what you did and running from your responsibilities, who has severed you in twain?
F&S,
 
Coach John S. Nagy



 

Saturday, March 3, 2018

A Brother Asks: Buying into the Fantasy



A Brother Asks: How do you quickly determine when another Brother has drunk the Kool-Aid and bought into the fantasy.
 
Coach: You'll know, when he acts like and states that he really believes Freemasonry is a continuation of Stonecraft in a speculative form and sells it as such rather than understanding and enjoying it as the "role-playing theatrical society with a moral purpose" that it is. 

Very few Brothers realize that the lexicon, words, symbols, and lore used within the society have only been borrowed from Stonecraft and integrated into our organization's writings and rituals to add an authentic feel to its plays.  They're not historic and neither is the lore. 
 
Brother: Wait?!  Freemasonry isn't a continuation of Stonecraft in a speculative form?
 
Coach:  Perhaps you and I need to take a moment, step back and have you explain in more detail exactly what you meant by drinking the Kool-Aid and buying into the fantasy. 
 
Brother: Just pulling your leg Coach.  That's exactly what I was looking for.  Thanks!

Coach: LOL!  You had me going there.
 
Brother: It's about time.
 
F&S,
 
Coach John S Nagy

Friday, February 16, 2018

A Brother Asks: Your Thoughts on this Meme




A Brother Asks:  Coach Nagy, I’ve seen a Freemasonic meme recently that puts a spin on the three degrees that doesn’t seem quite right.  What are your thoughts?

Coach:  The problem with the meme is it more accurately reflects the romantic notions and imaginings of the meme creator rather than the actual degrees themselves. 
Let me review each claim and provide a suitable response to each.
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The First Claim:

“Entered Apprentice - The first Degree of Masonry is symbolic of birth. The candidate, in a state of darkness, is brought into the lodge not knowing what will follow; but trusting his Brothers to lead him along the way in his quest for light (knowledge).
The Reality:

This Degree is a Freemasonic Degree; not a Masonic one.  It is not symbolic of birth; it is symbolic of initiations of ignorant intemperate youths.  Brothers will not lead candidates along any path in any quest for light.  These Brothers will perform plays called “rituals” that point to activities and goals that candidates must do and achieve to transform themselves to the better, but only when these candidates pay close attention and follow the road map that is symbolically acted out before them.
The Truth:

The first Degree is symbolic of the Work youths must engage in to move themselves from Youth to Adulthood.  In this respect, they must transform their Rough Ashlars to Perfected Ashlars. Their Work brings Order to the Chaos of their Hearts so that they are freed to take upon themselves the burdens of Adulthood and it strengthens them to assure they can handle it, when they do the Work. 
Those who have taken the time to study the degrees understand this.

-------------------------------------

The Second Claim:
“Fellowcraft - The second Degree of Masonry, the Fellowcraft Degree, is symbolic of the life and the work that makes a man into a gentleman.  Through trial, error and study, the rough stones are made smooth.
The Reality:

As pointed out before, this Degree is also a Freemasonic Degree; not a Masonic one.  When candidates are not already gentleman by this time with already smooth ashlars, their mentors and coaches have failed to properly…

                  1) assess the candidates’ readiness for progression; and
                  2) prevent them from progressing. 
 
The Truth:

The second Degree is symbolic of the Work adults must engage in to set the stage for moving into Age.  In this respect they must Raise their Perfected Ashlars by climbing the Winding Stairs (Develop and Cultivate Mastery of the Seven Liberal Arts & Sciences which sets the stage for spiritual pursuits) so that they may be positioned and cemented into that house not made by hand - The Masonic Brotherhood.  Their Work brings Order to the Chaos of their minds so that they are further strengthened to take upon themselves the burdens of Age and lives that lead to eventual death.
Those who have taken the time to study the degrees understand this.

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The Last Claim: 
Master Mason - The Master Mason Degree is symbolic of death and rebirth.  The candidate begins by proving that he is in possession of the lessons learned in the former degree, and he is symbolically raised to new life in the brotherhood.”
The Reality:

The third Degree is symbolic of achieving and celebrating mastery, aging and eventual death; there is no rebirth.  This entire degree is designed to let candidates know that they will eventually pass, and do so either by unexpected consequences or natural decay, whether they achieve Mastery or not  There is no rebirth or even resurrection.  The Allegory presents a test for candidates to see if they have Raised themselves and can actually apply the lessons of the previous degrees appropriately and in line with the intent of the Degree.  The individual responses and reactions to this degree tell all involved who know this whether each candidate did or did not do his Work proficiently.
The Truth:

The third degree is symbolic of the Work Masters must engage in bringing into alignment their Heads and Hearts.  The alignment Work is critical so that they may attend to spiritual pursuits without being severed in twain by the two pulling them in opposing directions.  Their Work is to assure future generations are given opportunity to Mature, cultivate Mastery as well and make accept death so that they may live more fully.
Those who have taken the time to study the degrees understand this.

-------------------------------------

 
The Blue Lodge Degrees symbolize the life of men, what to expect and what is expected should they want better.  These Degrees don't require them to do anything other than make promises. 

However, should candidates going through them actively listen to what they present and internalize what they point toward, they'll have a road map of life that they can follow to make the best of it, when they to the Work!

F&S,

Coach John S Nagy







Friday, January 26, 2018

A Brother Asks: Producing Unbiased and Untainted Works




A Brother Asks: I'm not sure anything Brothers write can be unbiased or untainted.  I'm not even sure that is desirable!  How do you research thought without bias?

Sunday, January 21, 2018

A Brother Asks: Degree Focus and Work

 
 
A Brother Asks:  I'm in constant discussions with other Brothers about the degrees and find myself at a loss for words at times.  I would appreciated some concise language  regarding the blue lodge degrees, what they are about, their focus and the work they direct us to do.  Could  you and would you provide to me your shortest breakdowns possible of each Degree Focus and Work?
 



 
Coach: Sure! And kudos to you for being engaged with your Brothers in these serious discussions and asking for this.   Here are a few triplets that you can use to convey degree focus, purpose and Work each points toward.
 
It's not about training; it's about Learning!
  1. EA - Preparing to Learn
  2. FC - Learning How to Learn
  3. MM - Learning and Teaching
It's not a about learning the degrees; it's about Learning what the degrees Direct us to Learn!
  1. EA - Learning about the Creature - The Self
  2. FC - Learning about the Creation - The Universe
  3. MM - Learning about the Creator - The Word
It's not about being orderly; it's about Bringing Order to Chaos!
  1. EA - Bringing Order to the Chaos of the Heart
  2. FC - Bringing Order to the Chaos of the Head
  3. MM - Bringing Order to the Chaos of the Spirit
It's not about building; it's about Living!
  1. EA - Laying the Foundation of the House
  2. FC - Building the House made not by hand
  3. MM - Living in the House (baking cookies, being a host and inviting guests)
It's not about Mastery; it's about Providing the World with Masterful Brothers!
  1. EA - Maturing the Youth
  2. FC - Mastering the Adult
  3. MM - Replacing the Master
Satisdiction?
 
F&S,
 
Coach John S Nagy
 
 
 

Sunday, January 7, 2018

A Brother Asks: Where's the Goat?



A Brother Asks: Coach!  I keep on hearing jokes about goats from my Brothers.  I've  looked high and low and can't find any association with goats in ritual.  Where's the goat?

Coach: Are there not parts of goats displayed right on top of two officers' staffs[1]?

Brother: Goat parts?

Coach: Yes, goat parts?

Brother: Okay, I'm looking at the insignias used upon all the staffs and I don't see any goat parts.

Coach: Of course you do. 

Brother: No.  I don't see them at all.

Coach: You do.  You just don't recognize them.

Brother: Okay.  I give up.  Which staffs?

Coach: The Stewards'.

Brother: All I see are weird looking squiggly cone shaped things.

Coach: There is a name for them.  Care to hear it?

Brother: Sure.

Coach: They are called, "cornucopias" .

Brother: Cornucopias?

Coach: Yes, cornucopias.

Brother: How are cornucopias parts of goats?

Coach: Great Questions!  If you do a little research, you'll find that a cornucopia is defined one way as "a symbol of plenty consisting of a goat's horn overflowing with flowers, fruit, and corn." 

Brother: Okay, that makes sense.

Coach:  What does?

Brother: The cornucopia...  I remember hearing this word as a youth when I asked what those strange looking things in the Thanksgiving pictures were with all the fruit coming out of them.

Coach: Yes.  Cornucopias are one of many symbols used during this observance.

Brother: Okay.  So you are saying the Steward staffs have goat parts on them.

Coach:  No.  I am pointing out that the Stewards' staffs have a cornucopia upon each of their tops, that a cornucopia is "an ornamental container shaped like a goat's horn", that it is a symbol for "an abundant supply of good things of a specified kind" and that a cornucopia is a goat's horn overflowing with specific good.  This is what I am saying.

Brother: I am beginning to see what you are saying.  Our ritual does indeed allude symbolically to goats through the cornucopia.

Coach: I'm glad that you are seeing it now.

Brother: Are there any other connections?

Coach: I'm impressed.

Brother: Impressed?

Coach: Yes.  I am.

Brother: By what?

Coach: By your further interest.


Brother: Further interest?

Coach: Yes.  You didn't stop at the cornucopia information.  You continued to seek further connections beyond that one.  That is impressive.

Brother: Why?

Coach: So many members stop at the information they are provided.  They do not question it.  They remain content not seeking Light beyond that which was provided.  You didn't do this.  You're still seeking.  That's impressive.


Brother: Thanks!

Coach: You're most welcome.

Brother: Well?

Coach: Ah!  Good. 

Brother: Thanks! Please continue...

Coach: I suggest you look at the Freemasonic allusions to the Tropic of Capricorn, when the sun is at its lowest point in the sky during Winter.

Brother: Capricorn?  Isn't that a symbol that is based on, "Enki", the Sumerians' primordial god of wisdom and waters?

Coach: Yes!  It is.

Brother: Doesn't Capricorn have the head and upper body of a goat and the lower body and tail of a fish.

Coach: Yes. The goat part of the symbol depicts ambition, resoluteness, intelligence, curiosity, steadiness and an ability to thrive in inhospitable environments.

Brother:  And this is all alluded to by the time of year that Saint John the Evangelist's day is observed?

Coach: Yes.  Under the tropical zodiac, the sun transits this area of the heavens from December 22 to January 19 each year.  The dates differ for the sidereal zodiac.

Brother: I'm enjoying these goat connections.  What's more?

Coach: Good!  You're remaining on task.  Have you ever looked at the word "Tragedy"?


Brother: A long time ago.  Why?


Coach: You might want to look into it again and make a sincere effort to connect the etymology of the word with that which we do overall and that which we do for candidates as we carry them through the third degree drama.[2]

Brother: Wait?  You're not going to give me the Light?

Coach: I just did.  It is up to you to use it.

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[1] a.k.a or called "rods" in many jurisdictions
[2] Chapter XIII; The First Freemason; The Craft Unmasked! The Uncommon Origin of Freemasonry and Its Practice; Bro. John S Nagy; Nov. 2014


Friday, January 5, 2018

Freed Cave Dweller Maxims



Good Day Fellow Travelers!

I wrote these "Freed Cave Dweller Maxims" years ago due to some in depth conversations with some frustrated light seekers.  They were put forth in guidance, in humor and in love.   

Perhaps they may provide some grist for your thought mill.

Enjoy!


Bro. John S. Nagy

--------------------

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #1: Knowledge is not Power; it's inventory. It is only through application that Knowledge emPowers.


Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #2: Share what you know only with those who will apply it for Good.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #3: Going back to the cave to find those who will apply knowledge for good is a awesome responsibility not intended for the weak of spirit and timid of heart. It is a loving act.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #4: To spark a QUEST, ask an empowering QUESTion.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #5: To incite a massive jail break, write a whole bunch o' questions and publish them in a series of odd sounding books designed to cause chain corrosion.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #6: Never assume a curious person is a moral person.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #7: Those who cannot handle Light shall find ways to numb their reality, conceal their numbing ways from themselves and others and sabotage and, if need be, destroy those who make effort to reveal these numbing ways.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #8: Self-serving action is not a bad thing.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #9: The cave can be a really fun place to visit, especially if you like messing with cave dwellers in subtle but beneficial ways.

Freed Cave Dweller Maxim #10: When returning to any cave, bring a Light. It'll help Guide you and keep you warm.

What maxims do you see needing to be added?




Wednesday, November 15, 2017

A BROTHER ASKS - Volume 1 - Uncommon Discourse about Hiram



Brother and Friends!

On November 7, 2017, I pressed the print button on my latest book, "A Brother Asks - Volume 1 - Uncommon Discourse about Hiram" and received copies for distribution three days later. 

This book is unlike any other I have written and I believe you'll find it entertaining, informative, thought provoking and a very difficult book to put down.

Please read through the back cover copy, the table of contents and the "soon to be available" reviews when you have an opportunity.

F&S,

Brother John S Nagy

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