Clef Rock, Jerusalem – In an unprecedented press conference held today outside the gates of what is believed to be the Temple of Solomon, leaders of Freemasonic Orders from around the world gathered to make an announcement that finally confirms suspicions long held about the Craft. The suspicion? That Ruffians fill the Craft rosters and some are violent, impetuous rogues.
Conference Chairman Drew Belum explained, “We needed to come clean, confront this issue head on and keep hitting it until it goes away." He quickly chided, "They simply want what they want when they want it and if we dare even allude to their actually earning what they demand, watch out!”
When asked by one of the reporters at the scene whether the rumors were true, Spokesman Heesa Cowan said quite candidly, “Yup! We have ‘em in our midst. They’ve been with us since before anyone can remember. The worse thing is their impact. We occasionally have to clean up after them, especially when they make demands that can’t be met.” He looked uncomfortable and added, “It’s pretty embarrassing too. Every time they go all uncircumscribed, we end up having to replace another leader. Do you know the cost of replacing leaders these days?”
Some don’t think a laid-back Brotherly approach was the best way to deal with the problem though. Sol Wisemen of the conference board of directors was quite adamant about it. He had this to say, “We need stricter penalties for these inconsiderate and impatient unruly rogues. It doesn’t matter that they’re in the Craft or for how long. It only matters that we treat them accordingly, like the immature entitled brats they are. I say let them be the architects of their own demise.”
It’s not a surprise to some though. Craft Observer Hyta Freemen, an old timer who claims to have seen it all, shared this, “None of this is new. All ya hafta do is look at the Craft’s history. It ain’t no secret neither. It’s been known in Craft circles for some time now that Fellow Crafts have long had a tendency for wantin' rewards and titles before they earn 'em. In fact, our own statistics clearly show that three out of fifteen of 'em will go so far as to do violence against instructors they believe can give 'em what they want. That’s a whopping twenty percent!”
Readers might ask themselves, "What exactly are Ruffians?" When queried, Brother and Lodge officer Taylor Doormen energetically retorted this, “Unfortunately, they’re Craft members who want what they have not truly earned and who demand it to the point of being violent toward those who they believe can provide it.”
It was clear from the general mood of those in attendance that there was a need to Raise awareness of this issue within the Craft.
Bro. John S. Nagy
For more information about Ruffians and Ruffianoscopy, please contact a Local Freemasonic Lodge or pick up a convenient field guide like, “Building Ruffish” to learn more.