A Brother Asks:
When Questions
Go Unanswered
or
Why some Brothers Stop Asking You Questions...
The following two
exchanges* between Brothers illustrates when questions are either really answered and not really answered
by other Brothers based upon a verity of reasons.
It also illustrates why some Brothers stop
asking questions because they realize all too soon that they are not going to
get them answered.
------ When A Brother ------
------ Actually Responds to ------
------ the Question Asked ------
Brother “A” Asks: As a relatively newer Mason... how do you respond when someone asks you: "What is a Mason?" Or "What makes a Mason?"
Brother "B": Regarding your question, how do I respond to:
"What is a Mason?"
When I respond, I keep it simple:
"If you are referring to Freemasonry, a "Mason" is a member of the Fraternity.
If you are as new to the Fraternity as you say you are, I recommend that you stay safe, toe the party line, and do the same. When you are new to the Craft, you truly do not want to put yourself in a position that demands more from you than you are able to provide.
Regarding the question, how do I respond to:
"What makes a Mason?"
As before and for the same reasoning, I respond with:
"If you are referring to Freemasonry, what makes a Mason is his Obligation.
As before, if you were to respond to this question, I also recommend that you stay safe and toe the party line here as well. Once you gain some Craft experience and know-how, you'll get to know the subtle nuances between Freemasonry and Masonry, and do so well enough to expand upon these basic responses.
Brother “A”: Thank You!
------ When A Brother ------
------ Responds with ------
------ Preconceived Notions ------
Brother “A” Asks: As a relatively newer Mason... how do you respond when someone asks you: "What is a Mason?" Or "What makes a Mason?"
Brother “B”: Why
did you become a Mason?
Brother “A”: That’s not
really answering my questions.
Brother “B”: Well
if you answer my question, “why did you became a Mason,” then you might be able
to explain what a Masons is to someone else.
Brother “A”: Maybe, but
it's still just answering my questions with a question that has nothing to do with
my request.
Brother “B”: No.
It’s answering a question by having you seek the answers that you have within yourself.
Brother “A”: You are assuming
a lot here, Bro... and you are still not answering my questions.
Brother “B”: I
didn’t need to answer your questions. I believe you already have the answer.
Brother “A”: Yes. It is
quite clear that you do not need to answer my questions. However, you chose to distract me from what I seek, you are assuming
that I have the answer for myself, and that your response still does not answer my questions.
But let’s explore your assumption. Let's say I do have my own answers. Why do you suppose I am seeking the answers that other Brothers have and that I am requesting that they share these answers with me?
Furthermore, why do you think such seeking occurs within me and why I would trust my Brothers in sharing with me what I am seeking from them, regardless of the assumption that I already have my own answers?
Brother “B”: First, you need to understand why or how you became a Mason and be able to explain that. If you can’t then maybe you need to
figure that out first before asking other Brothers how or why.
Brother “A”: <sigh>
I thought it was pretty clear that I was asking "what" questions and
not any "how" or "why" questions. And now you are telling me what I
"need" when I clearly already put forth what I asked for.
It
should
also be clear from my query that what I need are answers to my
"what" questions without any assumptions and projections from others
clouding the mix. When I get responses full of assumptions and
projections, I am likely not to ask further questions from
any assuming and projecting source. The "if" being projected by you is
an assumption
with an additional prescribed "maybe" that is based upon your
biased thinking and is not my actual reality. Worse yet, you are still
not
answering my questions.
Brother “B”: Being able to
explain it in your own words from the heart is better than from a book or other
people’s words.
Brother “A”: Perhaps. However, this still does not address my original request
for others to provide answers to me. You a clearly not hearing what I am asking for.
Furthermore, assumptions and projections about my original request are not
what I was looking for. With the way you are responding to me, I'll likely shut down further dialog with
you due to lack of incentive to continue. You have provided a string of canned responses to my
questions with a host of preconceived notions as to what is best for me. Until you actually answer my questions
or at least seek to understand why my questions were asked, you are truly not responding to my questions with any firm
understandings.
I have seen this done to
other Brothers far too many times to remain silent when I am sincerely looking
for answers and not alternatives to that end that are based upon the personal
biases of others.
Brother “B”: Maybe you
should consider helping yourself … it might be a better waste of our time then posting back and forth.
Brother “A”: As is clearly
indicated by my response to you, I am helping myself and sticking with exactly
what I am asking for, and without accepting the assumptions, projections, or
unbrotherly insults of others. No substitutes will do here. I want specific Light and you are pushing an alternative to the Light I seek.
As an aside, other readers will likely benefit from our exchange by
seeing and evaluating how
Brothers, such as yourself, don't truly answer a Brother’s questions.
They will also
get a better understanding as to the reasons why so many responses to
legitimate questions are really based upon assumptions and projections
that
have nothing to do with questions put forth by the person seeking
answers that truly don't focus upon what is really being asked.
Brother “B”: You're questioning what I have to say!
Brother “A”: It might seem that way to you. I'm not really questioning any of it. You've clearly been providing far more information about yourself by your
evasions than I could ever begin to question. I've recognized that you are not answering my questions, pointed
this out, and that you are making up a
whole lot of excuses for not doing so, all based upon your assumptions and
projections.
Moreover, I literally asked in my original post the following:
"...how do you respond..."
I was not asking for advice on:
"...how should I respond... "
How on God’s green earth did you miss this simple part of my query?
For what it’s worth, I will never know
how you respond to these questions, when you insist on having me respond to things I never asked for…. unless, that is exactly how you do respond to
people when they ask you simple questions.
If all I can expect
from you into the future is more of the same, I will likely not respond
back to you every time you respond to my questions with anything that
has nothing to do with my question.
Brother “B”: <extremely long pause accompanied by cricket sounds>
....
Brother “B”: Have a good night.
I have an event to get the rest of my stuff ready for.
Brother “A”: Thanks! Good Luck!
-----------
* Based upon multiple exchanges over the years
