Sunday, January 24, 2016

Are You Free-Burn? GL has You Covered!

Burdenville VA – After much consideration and careful contemplation, the Grand Lodge of Virginia has admitted Freemasonic Burnout as an acceptable reason to be provided medical benefits and even admittance into the “Old Masons Home”.
“No one knows how many suffer from this condition, but it’s clear that we needed to do something”, disclosed Grand Master Cahn Cerndt. “The sheer magnitude of Brothers suffering from this malady warrants our taking necessary action on this extremely debilitating condition.”

Freemasonic Burnout, otherwise known as “Free-Burn[i]” by Freemasonic Recovery Groups and support circles, is a much observed but rarely discussed condition of many individuals who join and then get lost in the Craft. 
When asked how to determine if you are soon to be a victim of Free-Burn, commonly referred to as a “Free-Burn Mason”, Grand Lodge Staff Psychologist Right Worshipful Lowe S. Team shared the following list of symptoms members will show just prior to hitting a Free-Burn low:

1.      Deep seated feelings of guilt and anxiety mixed with overwhelming high amounts of excitement and anticipation about:
a.       memorizing Freemasonic things,
b.      joining Freemasonic appendent and auxiliary organizations, and
c.       supporting every possible Freemasonic activity and function offered, to the detriment of health, family, friends, vocation and avocations.

2.      An overwhelming degradation of one’s outside life activities and relationships as Freemasonic activities, events and social circles slowly encroach upon and eventually replace them.

3.      The inability to turn away from or turn down almost any and all opportunities offered, unless something outside the Craft interferes with it and cannot be overridden, dismissed or simply dropped.

4.      An inability to recognize, understand or even comprehend the need to engage in anything non-Masonic coupled with a trance-like hypnotic state when confronted with colorful aprons, fancy titles and shiny things.
Not all of the Grand Lodge’s members were in accord with this Grand Lodge Initiative.  “In my day, we’d man up and just continue doing what was needed till we were put into the grave”, said Past Master Brother Weges D. Nye under grumbling breath.  “These newbies are certified millennial wusses who need to grow a pair and just do what it takes.”

Brother Team said that there is a standing offer by the Organization’s Grand Lodge support staff to all current members who need help.  Please contact him at 1-888-MAN-UPNW if you or someone you know needs to get a life.

Brother John S. Nagy

[i] Not to be confused with the urban dictionary “Freeburn” which is described as “A guy who is constantly at the scrounge. Will do anything for a freebie. Has zero morals and typically zero intelligence. “


No comments: