FILED UNDER: When you’re Symbolically Ignorant and Humor Challenged

(Sometimes situations are put before me as gifts from God. This discourse gem is based upon an actual interaction between two Brothers…)

Brother (An actual administrator in a Masonic Facebook Group posts this within the group):  A member of this page sent me this meme and I blocked him. Gentlemen if you’re using language like “whore” I personally don’t believe you’re deserving to be a Mason. How about strive to be part of the solution, not be part of the problem....

Coach: And we’ll not mention any irony or hypocrisy related to the fact that you're posting this objectionable meme here for others to see the very thing that you find distasteful and do not want to see yourself. Who's the problem here?

Brother: Right, though as the admin of this page, I’m just calling the crap out.

Coach: Yes, a public condemnation of a privately shared piece coupled with your use of another offensive expletive within your justification is equally ironic and hypocritical. You have an interesting moral code Bro.

Brother: I see absolutely nothing hypocritical in my post, maybe you enjoyed the meme and don’t see anything wrong with it. Calling something crap that is crap has nothing to do with morals.

Coach: My enjoyment or judgement of the meme is not the issue here Bro. It is clear that you don’t see what I am pointing out to you. Let me spell it out... You admittedly blocked a Brother for using what you judge to be an offensive word within something he found humorous, yet you use an offensive expletive to label his efforts to share from his heart.  Furthermore, you reposted it and used these expletives in your repost, thus subjecting others to them as well, even though you find it objectionable. Yes, there are morals in question here.

Brother: Calling a meme crap and calling female a whore are not even in the same ballpark, but you need to hear your right then so be it.

Coach: Your comparison is a red herring argument Bro. Both words are offensive expletives. And being right is also a red herring argument. You believe you're justified in judging and condemning, but are passionately indignant at 1) a fictitious bear who judged and condemned a female and 2) what is being pointed out as hypocrisy. Yes. Your morals are clear for all to see. You’re revealing your soul.

Brother: Remind me your choice of words when your daughter is called a whore.

Coach: Your response is a straw man argument Bro. If my daughter was caught breaking and entering, violating the sanctity of a family's safe place, their furniture, their food reserves and taking up residence where she didn't belong, being called a "whore" would be the least of her problems. It's not about me wanting to be right Bro. It's about your inability to see who you are choosing to be in this matter and what you are about.

Brother: But it’s not straw man at all.

Coach: Actually, it is.

Brother: I’m defending females!

Coach: You're now putting yet another straw man argument to defend your previous straw man argument. You're not defending females; you're defending yourself and your behavior!

Brother: I called it crap.

Coach: Yes. And the irony of your responses displayed the hypocrisy of your value system. It's obvious.

Brother: You took the path of connecting my choice of words to define that meme to be at the same level as the meme.

Coach: You're the one who put a pejorative definition upon the meme's word; not me. There's a huge difference between define your choice of words and merely pointed obvious things out.

Brother:  Now you’re questioning my morals, you know nothing about me.

Coach: Actually, I’m not questioning them; I’m seeing them and pointing them out as well and for you to see. And from all that you posted herein, I know more than enough.

Brother: To your response, when did anyone’s safe place get broken into?

Coach: Are you seriously telling me that you do you not know to whom[i] the bear was referring and to what she did to that bear's family and home?  Seriously?!

Brother: It sounds like somebody is reading way too far into something,

Coach: Much like you did to that meme, and unfortunately not far enough to grasp the subtle but obvious references to a well-known Folk Tale.

Brother: I’m defending females!

Coach: You're defending ignorance, your position, your poor behavior, your attitude and your lack of awareness; not females. You simply don't see it.

Brother: Brothers should know better than to send distasteful memes.

Coach: Actually, Brothers should be told when they are exhibiting ironic and hypocritical behavior reflecting symbolically ignorance and a lack of humor. Your reposting of the very thing you condemn others for posting is acting out the same behavior that you condemn. I wish you did know better. You would not be posting these things and defending your behavior with righteous indignation.

Brother:  Let’s call the meme distasteful.

Coach: And let’s call your reposting something that you found distasteful, thus subjecting others to the very thing that you found equally distasteful and disgusting, ironic and hypocritical.  

{Coach was summarily blocked and the thread removed/hidden at this point}

---

[i] Goldilocks – Notorious for breaking and entering, destroying furniture, depleting food reserves and bedding down without permission of the homeowners.

FILED UNDER: 7 Liberal Arts & Sciences - Music

Son: Dad, what do you know about sheet music?
 

Me: Well son, I really didn't know they liked music... but I imagine if it's baaaad enough, it'll put you to sleep pretty quickly.
 

Son: SHEET Music Dad! SHEET Music!
 

Me: Only when I have too many prunes son.
 

Son: (sigh) Ewe are too much!...
 

Me: Well, you can expect ramifications of shear nonsense from me at times.
 

Son: I have herd this before.
 

Me: That's music to my eyes son.
 

Son: What is?
 

Me: Sheet Music!

 

Son: (groan)

 

Me: Nice bass tones son.

 

Son: (sighs... rolls eyes... slowly moves away)

 -- Coach Nagy

 

 

Grand Lodge Innovation Solves Problem Plaguing Craft

 



Freemasonic Beehive



Buttsworth Vermont – In an unprecedented move unheard of throughout any recorded Freemasonic history, a Grand Lodge has made an innovation to the Craft that shall impact Freemasonry long into its future. 

Grand Lodge spokesman, Hiram Boca had this to say, “The problem has been growing since the decline in attendance that occurred shortly after the membership peak in 1959.  With attrition taking a toll on meeting attendance, it was clear from even a cursory view that we were not having an impact on solving this problem through any corrective action we have taken so far.”

What’s the problem you might ask?  Seeking to interview some objective observers, the Grand Lodge sought out non-members who support the organization.  They came across Constance Whiner, a member of an auxiliary Freemasonic organization, to provide an outsider' view.  According to Grand Lodge sources, she had this to say, “Oh dear!  It’s truly not my place to make comment on the goings on behind that huge guarded door. But I can tell you there’s a lot of complaining from the old timers coming out of meetings who shake their heads complaining about empty seats needing to be filled.   I can only imagine that they see this as a problem.”

And she appears to be in sync with what the Grand Lodge found coming from interviews with actual members.  According to their research, without fail, each member they interviewed focused on the same issue, “Empty Seat and how to fill them”. 

With volumes of growing evidence provided to them by the secretaries of each lodge within their jurisdiction, it was clear that the attendance numbers have declined since 1959 and that seats not being filled by members are at an all time high. 

And according to the Grand Lodge, Lodge secretaries are extremely frustrated with this.  “We simply don’t have enough members attending to fill the chairs and the problem is getting worse each year!” exclaimed lodge secretary Brig M. Inn. “No matter how many letters we send out, phone calls we make or verbal pleas we make to those who do attend, the empty seat numbers continue to mount.  Obviously we need to send more letters, make more calls and convince those who do attend to get out there to talk to those members who don’t attend or even approach past members and ask them to rejoin!”

With all the data coming in, the Grand Lodge decided it was time to do something that was not done before in anyone else's year.  They decided to reexamine the problem to see if it truly was a problem.  Their conclusions were shocking!

The first and most important of their conclusions was that the “empty seats”, so commonly focused upon and pointed out by whining members, was not really a problem. 
 
What was the actual problem? 
 
Grand Master Most Worshipful Brother Kean N. Cite had this to say, “We found that the overwhelming problem existing in almost every single one of our lodges was that there were far too many chairs provided that were not required for any proper functioning lodge."  He continued,  "With the reduction in membership, the continual and unnecessary inclusion of far too many chairs actually took away from the intimacy and fellowship that should occur had the distances between Brothers attending been reduced in tandem with reduced membership." He hung his head and said with an embarrassing tone, "They actually got in the way and distracted us from doing the work we need to be focusing upon when we come together.”

What was the innovative solution provided by the Grand Lodge?  Remove the unoccupied chairs, reduce the distances between the remaining chairs and enjoy the closeness that Brothers should have been enjoying all along.

Most Worshipful Brother Kean had this to add, “Implementation of this solution has already transformed many of our lodges toward the better.  We see more fellowship, less complaining and a whole heck of a lot more positive communications coming from attended meetings.  Brothers are actually enjoying the change." 
 
He smiled and then shared this with excitement, "Many of the Lodges have even downsized their meeting spaces, reduced overhead and the stresses that come from being burdened by the decisions of previous generations.  We certainly look forward to even more positive outcomes as a result of this innovation being implemented to our current operations.”

Fraternally & Sincerely,

--  Coach John S . Nagy
 
 
 

Grand Lodge Givin' the Bird... NOT!

Gobbler Gulch – In a long awaited, albeit “belated” for Thanksgiving, announcement made for the Grand Lodge by the Organization's Supreme Commander of Festivities, it was made quite clear that the society, known for its generosity, good will and charity, was continuing its long standing policy of not giving away any of its turkeys this Thanksgiving season. 

“We had to take a strong stand and not allow our much loved Craft turkeys to be subjected to any more basting than we ourselves would do to them,” said Grand Line officer Brother Chick N. Hider.  “After all, they're like family.”

The news was received badly and much to the chagrin of many of its outstanding and much involved members. “We can’t just sit still and allow so many of our turkeys to remain in safe harbor”, complained long time member Bro. Chop M. Wellman.  “We coddle them far too much and for far too long”. He shook his head and added, “And we do so in ways that prevent them from suffering what nature truly intended for them.”

Brother Char N. Smokem agreed and added, “These birds are definitely not part of our society, no matter how we want to label and treat them."  He continued, "They deserve a roasting befit them.  What's more, there are plenty of Brothers who would gladly volunteer to dress them down if given half the chance.”

“We could definitely afford to let go of a lot more turkeys than we do”, sneered one past master, who asked not to be identified. “The Craft suffers far too much for allowing so many of these Craft turkeys to go uncut for far too long.”

When asked if any changes to the Craft turkey policy should include additional considerations, Brother Burn Oinkment had this to say, “We considered swapping some of the Craft turkeys out with our lesser talented Craft hams in our holiday give away plans, but we honestly got overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of possibilities.”

It was expressed by many of those present at the announcement that the Grand Lodge itself needs to step in and make a significant change to the society’s well-established turkey policies. 

Unfortunately, most of the Brothers who have already made earnest effort to do so where themselves summarily divested and in ways that not even turkeys should suffer. 

For more about this egregious turkey situation, please contact the appropriate parties and ask about “Turkeygate”.

Fraternally and Sincerely,

Brother John S. Nagy

 

Lodge Wars: Episodes XXXi through XXXvi

 

LODGE WARS!

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: 

THIS IS ALLEGORY! 

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL HISTORICAL DRAMA IS SHEAR COINCIDENCE. 

AS WITH ALL ALLEGORY, THERE ARE LESSONS PRESENTED AND IT IS UP TO THE VIEWER TO LEARN FROM THEM. 

LET THE LEARNING BEGIN!

F&S,

Brother John S. Nagy

A Brother Asks... Wisdom and Prudence's Relationship

A Brother Asks: What is the "relationship" between Wisdom and Prudence?

My Response: Well, to be totally honest...

Wisdom wants Prudence with all his heart, and has wanted her since Time Immemorial.

But since Wisdom is as old as the hills and is not quite up to the task of pleasing someone like Prudence in only the ways that a comparable youth, say like that kid Fortitude can, Prudence has got her eyes set upon something a little more "invigorating".  

And she has learned through experience that Fortitude sure does have staying power in that realm.

Sure, Prudence hangs out with Wisdom and has some fun and worthwhile spiritual perks from him, and she enjoys how Fortitude can keep up with her, but she also has an adventurous eye that only a level headed guy like that youth Temperance can provide.

She's learned that, as inexperienced as Temperance can be in some things, he always knows when enough is enough and Prudence appreciates that most of all.

And then there's this other virtuous guy Justice that she keeps an eye on, but he appears to be a bit too demanding at times and tends to turn a blind eye to superficial things and that simply takes a bit too much for her at times.

So, when push comes to shove, what it all comes down to is, there is no Justice in Prudence's relationship with Wisdom.  

Well, there might be some Justice on the side, but being Prudence, she ain't talking about it.

F&S,

Brother John S. Nagy

PS - Wisdom leans toward knowing what's best; Prudence leans toward doing what's best.