Friday, January 29, 2016

Major News Program to Explore Masonry’s Dark Underworld

New York City, NY – In an unusual investigatory twist, 6☉ Minutes[1], a seriously long running television journalism and exposé program has decided to explore the dark underbelly of the Fraternal Organization known as the “Society of Free & Accepted Masons”.
“Our main focus will be exposing the seedy side of Freemasonic activities at an organizational level”, said the show’s producer, Candied Cameron. “It’s clear from the tremendous fallout in membership over the last 50 years that something has changed within the organization and we aim to find out what it is”.  She added, “From all that we've gathered so far, we’re betting the root causes are in its informal operations”.

When asked what they have found so far through their diligent and highly controversial probing efforts, we received only sketchy almost cryptic comments and this from one of the investigators who would talk under the cloak of anonymity.  “We’ve found several things so far”, he said under low breath while looking around nervously. “There's the continuous and purposeful use of language and symbols to obscure and deliberately veil what is truly being stated.  These obfuscations were clearly evident.  A second was the incessant espousing of principles and tenets that are only practiced when others were deemed worthy of receiving them.”  He added a moment later, “We also found a lot of backroom dealings hidden from public view and even from other individuals who do not attend Regularly.” 
Another investigator, who too expressed a desire to remain anonymous, said that, “One very disturbing activity that never gets reported by main stream media is how this organization has faked each and every member’s death over the years.  What’s worse, they have done so on a Regular basis for nearly 300 years!”

One of the clerical staff, who chose to remain off camera, shared on the side that “there’s this really much uglier side that hasn't yet been reported upon.  The investigation committee has dubbed it ‘the degree & title pushers’ for now”, he said with a heavy sigh. “They’re active everywhere within the organization.  They approach extremely vulnerable and naïve candidates who don’t know any better and who have little to no experience in organization operations and in dealing with these most aggressive rogues.  They push these newbies toward more involved and higher degrees, other support organizations and volunteer positions that’ll distract them from the very Work for which they joined.” He took a deep breath and continued, “This'll have to wait though.  It's too involved so we’ve decided to use this information in our second report later this year.”
The program was scheduled to air this last fall but for some unknown reason it has been caught up in some unfortunate delays due to the faked deaths of some of the investigation committee members.

If you have information related to this investigation, please contact the 6☉ Minutes’ main office and let them know.

Brother John S. Nagy

[1] Read as "Six Circumpunct Minutes" and not to be confused with "60 Minutes", another awesome yet highly underrated investigatory news program who employs similar techniques and insightful graphics.


Robert Gray said...

Good one! I like your sense of humor. This kind of post will throw our detractors off the scent. God forbid they should discover our true purpose of not wanting to take over the world. Hahah!

Unknown said...

Extraordinary coverage is usually delayed, due to viewers not having tall enough boots.

Coach John S Nagy said...

Thanks Robert Gray. We're doing our best! ;-)

Coach N


Thanks for the heads up Unknown. We're selling taller boots out back next to the Rubbish pile. ;-)

Coach N